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The return flights from Cairo last night were long but bearable. Knowing that I was going home, even if its to a house I have yet to truly live in, was a comfort after seven long, but wonderful, weeks away. As we landed at Logan Airport, Christina lent me her cell phone to call my dad to pick me up. I hesitated realizing that I had not dialed a phone in seven weeks-a small but great accomplishment.

I sense that over the coming days and weeks, little things like this will expose themselves and I will truly realize the enormity of the amazing and life-changing experience I have just endured. Far too much has gone through my eyes, ears, nose, mind and heart to even being to process it, but slowly it will come in fits and spurts.

If I have absorbed no new information or skills from my travels, I will know it was not without benefit. I have had almost two months, not only to learn about a new culture, but more so I have had that time to examine myself. Unfamiliar and uncomfortable situations force us to turn the questions on ourselves when we ask them of others. If I take nothing else from my time in Egypt, Syria and Qatar, it will be an awareness of myself and a lasting desire to continue learning who that person is.

The original Extenders in the desert.

Tea Ceremonies

One thing I will never forget of my time in the Middle East is the “tea for hospitality.”

In every meeting with a high-up official, from the Arab League in Cairo to Syria’s Minister of Higher Education, there was served an abundance of beverage and sweet hydration. The large conference tables were lined with glasses, water bottles, mango or orange juice containers along with pens and sheets of blank paper. After the meetings would start, one or two men would begin to make tinkling noises about the room as they handed out the hyper-sweetened tea in small glass cups and saucers. They were always intent upon serving all members of the meeting, no matter how awkward the seating arrangements in the often cramped rooms.

In Syria, there came a special surprise in Turkish coffee. Less than a shot of the most potent, blackest coffee ever known. I sipped it once, ignored all other times, and patiently waited for the inevitable tea. The tea was sweetened well beyond sweet, often in what tasted like a combination of both sugar and honey. Quite the treat to keep one awake during meetings.

Obama Speaks to the Muslim World

We sat in the 2511th room of Doha’s Movenpick Hotel watching Al Jazeera English as President Obama addressed the Muslim world from Cairo University. He spoke of the great contributions that Islam and the Muslim world have made to humanity, having sparked an interest and understanding of astronomy, algebra, and pen making. Spending the morning at the brand new Museum of Islamic Art in Doha, I saw relics of all of these and much more. The building alone of the museum was impressive and worth a trip over. To quote Rachel, “It’s kind of a big deal.” The President pointed out that the United States and Islam share common values of justice, integrity and academia.

Pres. Obama spoke of the need to move on from negative stereotypes and the past and to strengthen relations between the Muslim World and the American West based upon mutual respect. Peaceful dialogue between the two huge multi-faceted demographics would hopefully extinguish the Western concept of Islam as a violent, barbaric religion, and acknowledge (and too eliminate) the perception of the U.S. as being a “crude empire.” To fight negative stereotypes wherever they appear is much easier said than done. As I experienced earlier in my own Dialogue, when talking about stereotypes the stereotypes themselves tend to get in the way. There are so many nuances to our different languages and hidden misconceptions within communication and culture, that I believe true understanding is nearly impossible. But respect is always possible, though extremely hard to grasp when people are seemingly forced to hold emotional biases by a faith or moral code that disables them from thinking anything other than Truth. In a way, it is hard to get to the supposed important issues when clear communication alone is difficult to manufacture.

“If we only view conflict from one side, we will be blind from the truth,” Obama said, moving on to the situation between Israel and Palestine/Arab world. Both sides have played the victim, suffered greatly, and fought in search for their dignity and homeland. This Dialogue of Civilizations has opened up the opportunity for many of us to view the conflict from a point of view that many feel is not available in the United States due our country’s affiliation with and support of Israel. A political bond that some other countries see as being so close that, as Syria Minister of Information pointed out, Israel is controlling the U.S. rather than the opposite. Professor Sullivan guided us to observe our informants with precautionary extreme prejudice, as many were clearly offering up rehearsed propaganda. Acknowledge but don’t accept or reject. This was especially true in Syria, not only during our visit to the Golan Heights. It is important to sympathize but not to blindly follow.

Obama also noted that it is important that Arab nations no longer use the Arab/Israeli conflict to distract from other problems. Classmate Lily Sussman asked of the Minister of Information, at what point does the conflict over dignity become “enough” and a need to focus on other national issues, unemployment, poverty, healthcare, comes to pass? His response was that it was the “mother of all issues.” But where will they be when they must deal with the shock that their “mother” is gone?

“Faith should bring us together,” said Barack Obama, speaking to the fact that religious freedom is integral to groups of people living together in peace. Religious tolerance not only enables peaceful dialogue but also allows for that talk to be turned into tangible service to build up and strengthen communities, cultures and nations. The Golden Rule of do onto others and you would have done to yourself, appears, in one way or another, in a plethora of different creeds and religions. The rule, Obama said, once “pulsed in the cradle of civilization.” Now more than ever, this canon should be taken to heart as a means by which to develop dialogue, respect, and peace in a world that feels to be slowly falling apart.

Dialogue, Stereotypes, Family

Boston Time: 4:20 PM 31 May
Damascus Time: 11:20 PM 31 May

Our dialogue with a group of Syrian students at Damascus University was meant to focus on stereotypes. We had a lack of stereotypes due to our lack of exposure. To be honest, I never even thought of Syria (in general or as part of the Arab world) before the planning our travels. On the news, many Middle Eastern countries are mentioned: Israel, Lebanon, Palestine, Iraq, Saudi, Kuwait, Egypt, Bahrain, etc; even during stories on the Israeli-Arab conflict, I have no recollection of Syria being in the mix. (This is quite surprising considering we have visited the Israeli occupied Syrian Golan Heights.)

For the most part, it felt as though the other students were offering up stereotypes of the stereotypes we held as Americans. For example, all Americans think all Syrians (as part of the Arab world) are terrorists, or that we hate them. Of course, we attempted to dissuade them of this way of thinking while at the same time not making blanket statements and generalizations of our own. While I cannot speak for all Americans of our vast cultural and ideological spectrum, I do believe that America is moving forward with their global mindset and becoming more culturally sensitive, accepting and educated. At the same time, our small group of NU Dialoguers is a specific group of individuals that just by being here are clearly interested in and valuing Arab and Middle Eastern culture, so our own biases are surely swayed in this respect.

Another student said she would not take up an opportunity she had to study in the U.S. because she was scared of being treated differently because of her headscarf. No doubt she will be treated differently, even without it she would be. We are treated differently (negatively and positively) here and it has not prevented our travels. I hope she will change her mind.

There are two topics of our discussion that stick out in particular. The first: one of the Syrian students asked why do we Americans make no effort to be friendly with the Syrians (or Arabs) when they do put in an effort? The student offered up the story of her four uncles who live in Washington, D.C. and have not been treated well, or found comfort there (I am unsure of her exact reasoning.) When I asked her to clarify the efforts of Americans—was it because they don’t travel to Arab countries or because they don’t befriend the Arabs in the States?—she said it was in general, either way really. She explained that she wants to be our friend and to love us but we don’t seem to want the same. This truly hurt.

For fear of appearing self-righteous, I kept my mouth shut. My personal life did not need to be thrust into the spotlight of such an environment, but here I can at least let out some frustration.

I love an Arab and he is my best friend. Indeed, it has been the truest friend-making effort I have made since coming to university. To be missing Burhan so much, to be so close to his home while he is so close to mine, only exacerbated the distress her stereotype presented. I have made an effort to know and befriend the Arab world and Arab culture and continue to do so every day. I have to if I am to make my relationship work. Really it is required of any relationship, friend or romantic, no matter where he or she comes from, close or far. In the simplest sense, here I am in front of this student in a cultural dialogue, through which we both are attempting to grow closer and learn. The very fact that I am in Syria, is this not an effort? Are not Americans trying?

I do not feel the need to love everyone, or even to be friends with them, but I do believe that respect and kindness are a must in encounters. I am not required to be friends with every American I meet and should not be expected to be friends with every Syrian, Arab, or anyone else I come across—it simply is unrealistic. There are cultural differences, personality clashes, and ideological disagreements that can make any two people simply not get along. That is why, when a stranger says they want to love me and be my friend, I cannot take it personally. Hopefully, the student meant it on a broader sense, to love Americans as a whole, for Syria and the U.S. to be allies or at least at peace with one another. But the fact that she can make this statement of where she wants to go makes me wonder where she is coming from—does she hate Americans?

The second idea that touched close to home was the idea of family. A Syrian student commented that American families don’t socialize together, and move away from each other. It is true that we are a more wide spread and mobile culture in terms of family geography, but we still socialize with our families. We told them how we too (although admittedly not all) eat dinner and talk and all that jazz with our families. But the concept went deeper and was not truly able to materialize into what the real differences are: the idea of compliance to, and protection of, the family unit. My parents would never tell me what to, or try to influence my decisions. If a decision were mine to make, they would expect me to be the one to make it, and would not impose too much of their own opinion. Of course I would (maybe) listen to what my parents had to say, but I could never obey them if it meant going against my true feelings. It scares me to think that someone else’s mother has the power to affect my own life, by way of influencing her son. And yet his respect for her and his family is a strikingly inviting and attractive quality.